I am going home! Yay!

Yeap, be jealous. I'm going home for Chinese New Year. It's for all of two weeks only, but hey, I'm happy with what I can get. So, I plan to :

1) Celebrate CNY! Yay!
2) Eat
3) Play mahjong!
4) Meet everyone that I can possibly squeeze into the 2 weeks time frame
5) Rest (yeah right)
6) Spend time with my family
7) I'm very open to suggestions

Will write more when I'm in the mood. Now my back aches. It feels like crap. Argh. Ok, later.

Thank you for being there, always

XXXXXX

XXXXXX

XXXXXX



I tried to get the most similar pictures but not all came out successful. So, make do. Heh. I spent a lot of time looking and uploading. I'm so proud of myself :)

I'm da coming to da DSM

Haru,

Quick update. I'm going to DSM on Friday! Yay!

But arriving like very early Saturday instead. Boo!

Though you people in DSM should still be prepared to be disturbed by me. Yay!

Ok enough, gotta go now. More later.

I will NOT complain about the weather...yet

Hi all!

I am writing because I am very bored of studying. And because I'm excited but too lazy to pack. Tomorrow will be the first time I'm sort of going away from the city since I've got to Chicago. I think this is the longest I've stayed put ever since I came to the States. I've been here for six months thus far and I desperately need a vacation. The kind where you laze around and not do anything. Yeap, like that trip to Lang Tengah, that was pretty relaxing. Eat, snorkel, swim, eat and then sleep. Repeat. I likey. Who's up for a trip like that?

Anyhoooo, to the hordes of complaining people, I will try to reply to my MSN messages as prompt as I can be. But rest assured, most of the time I do reply. Even if it's been a week or two. But I reply! Ok, I know. My bad.

Nah, some photos taken during one the friends farewell. She's going back to Malaysia and will get to celebrate CNY before she comes back (jealous betul).

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT!!!

I will try my very best to come home for your wedding when it's confirmed. It's nice that I got to meet him and see you guys together. Take loads of pictures of your engagement and send them to me alrighty?

To the rest of you, please follow suit and go get married. Fast, you don't want to get left behind, do you? Hmmmmm?

There should always be clear roadsigns in life

Hi,

Have you ever lost something very dear to you? In which you then grieve over your lost for a period of time. And then just as you begin to get used to your lost, unexpectedly a new one falls on your lap. With the new, you start out comparing it to the old, how it's better in some ways but how it also doesn't live up to the predecessors shadow. It'll take you a while to get use to the new, given your attachment to the old. And recently, you decided that maybe you have warmed up to the new. And also, that's when out of the blue, the old decides to reappear. Now you have the old and the new. Do you stick with the new because...it's new and it's a new choice? Or do you revert back to the old, which you've once grown very attached to?

It's not nice to have someone as fickle as me make such decisions.

It's me again

Oola,

Here are some pictures that I stole from everyone else cause I haven't been taking pictures thus far.

Stolen from Cadence, taken while she was in town with Mario.

Also stolen from Cadence. Up on Hancock Tower, you should be able to see the Chicago skyline in the picture, but cannot. Oh well.

Taken at the Pride Parade. The poodle cute hor? Her name is Yaya.

Ever since I saw that donut walking around I wanted to punch it.

Alrighty, thats all for now folks. I'm actually cleaning my house and because I love to procrastinate when I'm doing boring stuff, I uploaded pictures to my blog. How wonderful. Oh and I think I'm very confused on typing because I've been using Unix at work and now I keep pressing the Esc button and from time to time, I will do weird stuff when I'm using normal programs like Word. This is horrible. My typing is now even worse than before! How can. Ok enough rants. Gonna go clean up. Ta!

Weddings weddings weddings

I was going through my Friendster list and I realised many of my friends got married. But I still have yet to attend a wedding! I mean, those which are not family or neighbours or stuff like that. The ones where I personally know the bride/groom and can make fun of them. You see, at this age, when everyone is getting married, I should be complaining of the tonnes of wedding I have to attend. But nooooooo, I have to pester everyone around me to get married. And when they actually do, I can't attend the weddings. If you're in a stable relationship, chances are, I've hinted/suggested/asked/forced you to get married. But no luck so far in getting one around Chicago. I'm not in a relationship now, so don't throw me those "You get married la, then you can attend your own wedding". Hello, I want to attend YOUR wedding, not MINE. I don't want to spend ages planning. I just want to be able to torture the groom with wasabi-laden crackers, soy sauce shots and jalapeno snorts. Then collect some money in return and at night, get to dress up and have dinner on your important night. Sounds fun right?? Someone get married quick!

This is a happier post

Halu all,

It's been a while since I've posted something happy. This may not be a happy post but at least it's not sad. It may be stupid though, no promises.

Remember a while ago I had flying watermelon in my apartment? Well, yesterday I decided I wanted to have a quick meal, so I threw a pack of tong fun (or su-un), some vege and some meat into a pot of broth and wala...a meal. Then as I was happily balancing the big bowl in one hand, a plate of chili and a container of leftovers in another, I walked over to my desk/dinner table/coffee table/shelf/utilities table/anything you can think of. I was nearly nearly nearly there when the plate with chili decides to give way and plopped on my cream colored carpet. If watermelon stains weren't bad enough, now I had to get rid of chili stains. So much of Fantastik went on the carpet again. Aih. It's still slightly pinkish but it doesn't look like someone died here anymore though. Or at least it looks like a badly cleaned up crime scene now instead of a fresh one. I'm clumsy, I know.

Soooo anyway, I'm blogging because I want to escape from studying. Haha, yes, I blog to escape. From anything I don't want to do. Yeap. And after Wednesday, its either I'll put up a barrage of entries or there will be none for a very long time. I want to put up pictures but I'm still waiting for them from my friends here. Cannot hint on my blog cause they don't know about it. I will make sure I hint big big on MSN later. Oh well.

BTW, if you guys are thinking that I'm suffering big time in Chicago from the previous entries, I'm not. I was actually really enjoying it till like a month ago when work became busier and exams came close. And now I'm quarantined till when the exam is over. Then I will hopefully be able to enjoy what's left of summer. As I've said above, I blog to escape but then I don't blog to escape from good times, so not much good things here. I will do that soon when I'm free. But then when I'm free I want to go out and play, so hence the dilemma you see. Just want to leave a note that I'm fine and dandy again for now. But when I hit rough patches, I will blog 5 liners and get everyone thinking that I might commit suicide in a blink of an eye. Till then, tata!

Hi,

It's been a very challenging week for me. There's so much I want to write but there's also so much that I can't publish here. There are decisions to be made and I can't seem to make any at the moment. There have been so many ups and downs that it has made a quiet day without any thinking, responsibility and company very precious to me. I know this entry will not make sense because there is no explanation to why I feel the way I do, but the thing is, I can't explain. If you care about me, just root for me in your heart, that everything will be fine in the end. Hopefully, when the time comes, I would have a better post with a crystal clear explanation for everyone to know. But till then, wish me luck.

Chicago, thus far

Hello,

It's been awhile hasn't it? Life has been very busy and hectic. But then again, when is it ever not busy and hectic, right? Summer is a great time to be in Chicago. There are loads to do and I've made some really good friends here so far. I've just spent my entire weekend out and just having fun. But now that I'm back home, suddenly, I'm getting pangs of homesickness.

I hate being so far from home. I hate being away from people that I care about and that cares about me. I hate having to survive on my own. I hate having to do everything for myself.

I just want everything to be alright from now onwards.

I'm not depressed or unhappy now. I just wish I was home. It's not about the food, weather or places. It's because it will always be my home and it will always be my special place in this whole wide world. Always.

:(

Today wasn't a happy day. So while I was walking home, I flipped open my phone to call someone to talk to. And then I got disappointed. Because I just realised that there's no one I could call. And now that I'm home and finished with my chores, I think I'm slumped into depression again.

Edit: I wrote that on Tuesday. I think I was really unhappy that day. Though now, if you asked me why, I can't put my finger on it. Am I happy today? Not really, no. But I'm not unhappy. Life is turning into one big routine now. I don't like it but I think I need it for now. At least till I'm done with my exams. Or when I give up with them. Aih. Dunno la. I'm just in the mood for ranting again today. I think my blog is one big rant fest. But then it's better than bitching about other people right? At least I rant about my own stuff.

Trip #1 - Chicago

I had a bunch of friends come over to Chicago for the weekend. I think it was our first gathering since...too long ago. But fear not, cause there will be lots more! We (at least I am) already planning the next one. Everyone agreed that it was incredible fun and wonderful. Friends came with their friends and at one point, there were 11 people sleeping in my tiny apartment. Almost all floor space was taken up, but it was all good. I love to have people (that I like) visit me, so come come.

I can post up pictures, but the person who had a camera with him has not sent them to me (hint hint). So none as yet.

I have never imagined that I would make such good friends when I flew over to this country nearly 3 years ago. But I did. And I'm very happy and glad that they are now part of my life. A bunch of us keep in very close contact (ie work email everyday) and I think it helps keep me going. It's a support system that I'm very fortunate to have. I do hope we can stay this way as long as possible and not let anything get in the way. You know who you are, so I don't think I need to say more.

Ok, I will post more about the trip later la.

I am so not domestic....and am not made to be

I have a long post coming. I can feel it. It's related to the topic. But not today. Today, it ends here :p

Man U yay!

Ok, this post has nothing to do with Man U or football. I just had to harp it.

I'm listening to BassAgents while typing this post. So hard to sit quietly and blog. I usually don't like hard dance like this, but this I actually quite likey. Damn noisy, hope my neighbours don't mind. Ok, this can be ignored too cause it has nothing to do with this post actually.

What is this post about? I have no idea yet. I just felt like I needed to write something. To keep those 6 ppl, in Msia, Uk and somewhere in Europe updated. Though I have a feeling not all 6 reads, but some will read and tell the others, so ok la. Hopefully.

*Edit*
So initially I had nothing to write about but now I do. SO, after taking a nice shower and deciding I should have watermelon followed by an awesome Baileys milkshake, I walk into the kitchen and grabbed the box of watermelon. I was walking out, busy stabbing at one of the pieces when the opened box hit the wardrobe door and the whole thing fell. 5 pieces of watermelon went flying on my cream colored carpet. I wanted to cry. It looked like someone had been stabbed a few gazillion times and left to die in my apartment. And I brilliantly tried to clean it by spraying loads of Fantastik on it while pouring water and frantically putting Bounty all over the stains. I hope it works. As of now, it's still wet so I can't tell. Please let it be normal again *prays*.

Trust me to give you stupid acts like this. Argh.

June, please come.

Haven't been updating much at all lately. But now I am, so la la la.

Anyway, I've recently decided that I need a mp3 player. Badly. Cause my comp at work doesn't have the soundcard driver installed due to a bunch of reasons. So it gets boring plus it will help block out sounds when I'm doing my FAP modules (non-actsci, it's exam related). So, I went researching online and fell in love with the iRiver Clix2. One bad thing is that the 8gb version will only be released in June. I need it now!!! What will I do till June?? I'm not too keen on buying an Ipod, but if I'm desperate, should I? But I like the iRiver aloooot. AAAHHH. Dilemma.

On other notes, I wanna talk about my apartment. Ok, just the location for now. Right across of the building is......the Playboy headquarters! Yes, it is. I have been keeping a lookout for their models but no luck so far. Hehe...bet more of you wanna come visit me now huh. And right beside, blocking 50% of my beautiful lakeview is a hotel. I have full view of a lot of the rooms. One night, I was standing at the window and looking across, I was curious if I can see any hanky panky going on. But there was none. Till now, I haven't seen anyone that has forgotten to pull the blinds down. Hehe. Oh well. I do not spy or stalk ok. And down the street, there's a hospital really nearby. Just in case of an emergency, it'll be really close.

I was told that the pool in my building overlooks the lake. One day, I shall check it out. Okie, enough for now. Ta!

The world is full of hope

Last night, I went out for dinner with some friends. We ate some Chinese food in well, Chinatown, but there were so much talking going around that I didn't really enjoy the food cause everyone was engrossed in one conversation after another. They were a fun bunch. So after that, we went to play pool at a place nearby.

At the pool place, there was a boy who was working at the counter, bartending I suppose and just looking after the cash till. And there was a girl there also, just hanging around and playing with her phone. We were playing doubles so I had time to sit and look around alot and I was watching the couple for a while. They were so sweet. I think this can be accounted to the Canto songs that was playing in the back ground and the setting of the place. They were just running into each others arms, hugging, and snuggling. Then at one point in time, she jumped onto his back for a piggy back ride. It was as if I was watching a movie, and this was a flashback of the main character's first/puppy/young love. I kept telling everyone that they're so sweet, and cute. What was the comeback? "You jealous ar?" Haha, yah actually a little. I wish I was that young again, when the world was so much simpler. One of my friends there said something which I agreed was so true. *This is translated from Cantonese, and it sounds much better in its original form*
-When we are young, we are not afraid of loving and hating-
And as we grow older, we get hurt and we hurt others in the process. Then it is as if we had learnt earlier on how it will hurt if we burnt our hands, we try to keep ourselves safe and out of harm. We are then no longer the young naive girl/boy that is full of hope anymore. We are not longer not afraid.
But what I saw last night, I thought it was very pure and sweet. Yeah, in a smoky pool place.

back online!

Hi,

I've not been posting because I didn't have internet in my apartment for the past week. I think I had some withdrawal syndromes, but nothing major since I could still surf at work. Which I actually try to do minimally. So if I don't reply msgs at work, its not cause I don't like you, its cause I just try not to. Or maybe I really don't like you. Oh well.

Anyway, my apartment is still sort of bare, but its getting better. Was suppose to get a coffee table this weekend, but I'm just too lazy today, so maybe next week. I gotta get out and take a walk cause its so pretty outside. Very sunny and finally warm. I can't wait for actual spring weather! La la la. Anyhoo, so, yeah. I don't have much to say yet, but soon, I may come up with a post so long that your eyes glaze over just looking at it. But not now. Now, its gonna be a short one which ends here. Or here.

No, here.

If I am god, then

I want things to get better now. Right now!

What I have done in Chicago thus far

Nothing.

Besides look for an apartment, I've spent most of my time in the hotel. One huge reason is due to the fact that I think its cold outside. So far, I've ventured out only to get food, look for an apartment, and meet up with a friend. Yeap, thats it. For three days. And I spent a lot of moolah online yesterday to make my apartment decent. I kept reminding myself to be thrifty and what not, but I just kept buying more and more. I love to be comfortable and cosy in my own place and thus a barebones apartment will just not cut it for me. But whats been deterring me from spending a fortune is that I don't actually have a fortune. Duh. Oh well.

On to other territories, I think that between last year and this year, I know a lot of people (myself included) who had hit some bad turf. Its probably due to our life changes, and I guess it is part of growing up. More often than not, we will all dwell in it and at that moment, it seems like its not worth it to be doing what we've been doing all this while. I can't say for sure that we will all survive every depressing moment and come out on the very top the next second, like how you see in movies. What I can say is that when things get rough, you can count on your friends to be there for you. They may not be able to pull you up, but sometimes, just knowing that you have their support can be good enough. I know that I'm not the best listener nor do I have a lot of time to spare, but I do sincerely want my friends to know that when it matters, they can count on me. Ok, sappy and unrelated, I know. I just had to say it.

So, anyway, I need to shower. Bye.

I wish I can fly first-class only

I wrote this while I was dying of fatigue and boredom at JKF:

Here I am, at 5:30 am in JFK airport. There is still no internet here and I am typing this into WordPad first before uploading it to blogger later. By the time I reach Chicago, it should be 8:53 am local time there. That means it would have been 37 hours later from when I left KLIA. And by the time I reach my hotel, I would be dead, some 40 hours later. But die I could not, because I have a 1 pm appointment scheduled with apartment hunters to go scavenge for my future apartment. When will this long torturous journey end damnit??

I flew on MAS from KL to Heathrow and it was a fully booked flight. Which means, no free upgrades and being sandwiched for 13 hours. I've never bee upgraded for free (or with charge) before in my life. I've heard of it many times, but me, I have no such luck. So I figured maybe I would have it better with Virgin en route to JFK. Somehow, people like to go where I'm going, when I'm going. So, that’s another packed flight. The seats on V are much smaller compared to MAS (much like NWA or UA), and it’s a little cramped although it’s a 2-4-2 seating compared to the 3-5-3 of MAS. Also, the flight attendants are ALWAYS rushing on V and they tend to bump into me while I was desperately nodding off. The only upside is that V has a huge personal screen and it has a humongous library of movies.

When I reached JFK, I was really ready to stretch and enjoy some form of communication (i.e. my phone and msn!) besides with flight attendants and the person beside me. While on MAS, an Aussie dude was making conversation with me but it took so much effort as I was tired and trying to finish the first season of Grey's Anatomy (which I did), so eventually he gave up. So anyway, in JFK I thought I should get to whichever terminal that I would be flying from and stay there. *Long sentences and incoherence ahead*. That thought got me to walk really far, go on the AirTrain, get off the AirTrain, go up the elevator, then walk across the street, got some complicated instructions from a disgruntled guard, went down the elevator, walked around corner (this is outside in the cold, I only had a sweatshirt, sweatpants and slippers on), up the ramp, across the street, up a ramp again, crossed yet another street, only to be told to go back across the street, walk straight ahead and turn left. En route, my luggage, which weighs more than I do, fell 10 million times, the tiny little trolley got stuck 5 million times and the entire thing tipped over 2 million times. My hands were practically numb, toes were blue and I probably looked like some horror movie "thing". And this is not where the torture ends. Read on.

So this Terminal 3. If you are ever in JFK and is waiting for 10 hours in the wee hours of the morning and your flight should be in Terminal 3, DO NOT GO THERE TILL YOU ARE READY TO CHECK IN. There is practically nothing there but a row of chairs. No wireless internet, no cafe, no shops, no nothing. Nada. It took some effort to find the restroom and I had to go downstairs to salvage some food from the vending machine to not starve to death. I think I spent a good 3 hours on the phone, before venturing to find the restroom. When I was freshening up (yeah, still as fresh a stale fish after), some nice Chinese lady came in and tried to talk to me about some religion? Cult? I don't know. I didn't understand her that well with her and I doubt she understood me well too. After I was done, I tried to go downstairs to where I got a piece of pathetic bun initially to get some water from the water fountain or the vending machines. They closed off the area!!! Those bastards won't let me in and there was no fountain or vending machine upstairs. So I sat dehydrated for many many hours until a nice guy, who was polishing the floor heard me complaining over the phone (I also asked him earlier if there were any fountains on the floor) that I was dying of thirst, brought me over a whole bottle of water! I am forever indebted, but I did have my earlier doubts about him poisoning me and stealing my luggage. I'm still alive, so this makes me feel guilty for doubting a kind act.

Now, its 5:50 am, I have finally checked-in, got a piece of sandwich and a hot chocolate from Starbucks. My first meal in 10 hours. I thought when I have checked-in I would have wireless access. I was/am wrong. I'm still typing from WordPad. Someone kill me now. And people wondered why I didn't want to leave. Would you like to go through this torture? Are you masochistic? Huh? I hope it gets better from here.

Ps - I think this is the longest entry I've ever typed. And its really cold here. Why??!!!!!!!!!!!!1111one

I thought I was going to edit it but now I'm lazy.

Why must it be so cold in April?

Remember how I was complaining about not having spring clothes when I leave for the US? Well, apparently I don't really need spring clothes. Its as cold as winter. Bah. All I need are my winter clothing and now I'm hoping that my VERY DEAR and NICE friend in DSM will send my boxes to me soon cause I may freeze without my sweaters. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that a cool April will continue on to a cool summer so that there will be no blistering hot heat wave going around. Pray, I say. Pray with me guys.

Oh well, other news. I've been trying to pack and if any of you know me, you'll know that I hate packing. I hate it with passion. I never thought I would (fill with word that means hate but stronger) packing so much before I moved to the US. And then all hell broke loose the first time I had to move out of the dorms. I think between rushing to hand in that damn last minute assignment and packing, I wanted to kill myself. I was living on the fourth floor which is actually the fifth level of the building, so there was a high chance of dying. But I figured it wasn't a high enough chance. So, I had all of a couple of hours of sleep to be able to move out of the damn place. Argh, and so far, I've had to do massive (in my books they are massive) move outs 3 times already. Hated every single one of them. Yeap. I am usually more excited with move-ins but I dunno. We'll see how my latest move in go. But the point of the story is that I hate packing.

No more rantings, for now

Ok, I will stop complaining now. I just don't feel like it today. Haha, but that doesn't mean I won't rant tomorrow!

Anyhoo, there is something about Asian horror movies that scare the crap out of me. Before I had to stay in dorms or stay alone, I loved them. I wouldn't even think twice before watching any. But now, I'm a pussy. Yes. Those who watched "Shutter" with me can attest to that. Yet I still always want to watch it, but I mostly decide not to nowadays. Hehe. The nearest to a true horror that I've watched recently was "Unholy Matrimony". Mind you, the movie itself isn't that creepy at all. It was the whole scenario. We went to watch the movie at 12 pm on a weekday, so needless to say, the cinema was quite empty. So, before we went in, I went to the washroom. It was dark and empty, sooo creepy. And there were 4 stalls, in which 3 doors I couldn't open, but there was no one in there! So I had to use the only one I could get into, and I think I came out in less than a minute of being in the washroom. I kept thinking what if something rolled over from the next stall or if I saw feet or if there was something hovering above my head! Ok, so nothing happened. But it was still scary. And then when we went in, there was only one other guy in there, sitting at the very end, in white. So we sat down, in the middle of the cinema and also of the row to watch. And guess what, since its nearly "Ching Ming", there are quite a number of horror movie previews. One Thai flick preview was really scary with haunted images overload. So as you can see, right before the movie, I was already on the edge of my seat. And when the movie started, the overall situation just made the movie felt more creepy than it was. Ok enough with the creepy and scary words that I keep using. But yeah, now that I will soon be staying on my own, I don't think I'm gonna be watching too many horror flicks anytime soon. Oh well.

More rantings

Every morning when I wake up, the first thing on my mind is what else do I have to do today? This is then followed by the counting of how many days do I have left. And a few days ago, I have been calling MAS to reschedule my flight, but its all fully booked. All the way to April 26th. All I wanted was a couple more days, but nope, no avail seats maam. And after the initial dread, then comes the headache of the logistic issues when I get to Chicago. It never ends. To top it off, its not even noon yet.
Now till Sunday, my days will be short and my nights even shorter. I hate wasting time not doing what I really want to do. I don't know how it may feel like once I get to Chicago, but I'm hoping that it won't go downhill. I think already know how the sequence of my emotional rollercoaster would be once I get there. It starts off depressing when I initially arrive, and then when I get busy trying to settle down, I would have my mind off things and that would make it fine, for a while. And then one night after some time when I have time to ponder on things, then it won't be so pretty again. Sigh. So the key is to keep myself occupied until I come home again. At least thats what the best way I know off. Any better suggestions?

Paint taste bitter apparently

Yesterday, I accomplished one more item on my list of to-do's. I played paintball! It was fun but painful. I have a bruise the size of a golfball on my right thigh now and it still hurts when I touch it. Though I must say I came home relatively paint-less cause the pellet that hit my thigh did not break, and I got one head shot (this sucks, cause one minute you're all fine and dandy, and the next all you see is orange paint). I would definitely do this again, but maybe by the time I play again, I hope that there are cheaper and lighter markers for the weak, like me. After the paintball session though, I have a better understanding of how in action films, the hero always escapes unhurt with so many people shooting at her/him. It is cause those extras (keh leh feh) probably shoot like me, and thus, the hero could easily dodge the bullets. I mean, the more they aim, the more likely it is to miss, so that's why. Yala, I know this is crap. But my blog, I suka.

Mr. Bean = Torture

I don't think watching a movie have ever been this torturous. Ever. I mean, I've sat through some pretty bad movie before. But never was it as bad as Mr. Bean - The Holiday. Not being an avid fan of Mr. Bean, I was forced (literally) to watch it, but I never did I expect it to be that unpleasant of an experience. Though I must say, a lot of people found it hilarious, especially this 3 people that was sitting next to me. They started laughing even before most of the supposed funny parts. I guess some people just love his brand of slapstick humor. I hate slapstick. Yeap. And this post does not do any justice for my suffering last night. But, I hope you get the idea.

There is no title

There is so much that I want to say, so much that I want to do. But I can't. I am not being cliche.

Is it possible to miss someone who is standing right in front of you?

No, I don't.

I don't want to be the one that has to leave.

I don't want to be the one who spends endless sleepless nights thinking of how it is back home.

I don't want to be the one who dwells on what it would be like if only she had stayed.

I don't want to be the one who is all alone in a city where her best friends are at least a few hundred miles away.

I don't want to be the one who has to be independent all the time.

I don't want to be the one who you expect to act rationally.

I don't want to be the one who thinks with her brain and not her heart.

I don't want to be the one who is always in your thoughts, but rarely in your arms.

I don't want to be the one who would sacrifice her life for puny returns.

I don't want to be the one who you had to let go.

I don't want to be the one who had to let you go.

I don't want to do this anymore.

I want to stay.

X X X

Its going to be April real soon. Too soon. In fact, it will never be late enough. Its not the fact that I would have to go back to the real world and start working that is bothering me. Its the fact that I have to fly thousands of miles away to be able to that, comfortably. I always thought I'd be at least a little excited to be working and earning more money than I ever had in my life. But until now, all I feel is dread. I dread everything to come, knowing that its away from anything familiar. I don't want to have to go through time and again. Can anyone please come and tell with much hope and faith that they know for sure that things will get better? That it won't go downhill from here. That I will be as happy again. Please?

Back!

Just got back from Singapore. Will post something bout that later as this post, is about my island vacation. I was too lazy to take pictures from the same angle as the website, so had to make do from the places that I was lazing around.

This shot is taken from our room. We upgraded from a standard room to a deluxe room cause this room is bigger, nicer and has a better view.

Another shot of the infinity pool from the room.

The sea. This is during low tide. I think the pictures at the site were taken during high tide.

More infinity pool pictures. Its lovely isn't it?

This is the other pool on the other wing of the resort. Where our initial room was. Its nice too.

The island was nice, though the beach had a lot of rocks and dead coral. It wasnt the white sandy beach that I had expected and when I saw it, I was a tad disappointed. But it was also there that I saw the nicest starry night ever. As you would have known, trying to take pictures of stars using my camera was a failure, so you just have to imagine me sitting on those beach chairs and staring into the sky. It was awesome. The island is not crowded, so it's good for R&R, but not so much for much else. The snorkelling wasn't that great, though I did see Nemo and a shark (it was big!). All in all, it was fun. I want to write more, but I'm in a hurry and my connection is funky. So just in case, this is all I'm writting for now. Tata!

Blogging spree

Will be off to Singapore (with the family) tomorrow, so today, I am on a blogging spree. Well, I know, they are rather short posts, but still, I did many posts.

Well, one day before going on vacation, my throat tries to spoil it for me. I woke up feeling uneasy around the throat, and it was sore the whole day. To top that off, I was feverish off and on throughout the day and the special whipped cream is in the form of body aches. Bah, this sucks. I haven't been to Singapore since......as long as I can remember. Which I don't.

X X X

I was reading the comic section today (it is NOT the only section I read btw. I read the Star almost from cover to cover) and I was looking all over to post the particular Calvin and Hobbes, to no avail. So I'll try to type it out instead (I know la, not the same, but still). It starts with Calvin and Hobbes discussing some jungle clearing activities, how sooner or later, it will all be strip malls and petrol stations. Then,

Calvin: I wonder if we can refuse to inherit the world
Hobbes: I think if you're born, then its too late

How true.

X X X

I want to upload the vacation photos but my camera died. So got to wait. Maybe until after Singapore I'll upload everything. I have nothing else to write now actually, so this is what I am writing to balance out the paragraphs. Yea, I always do that. When you see me, I just can't stop talking, but when it comes to writing down everythin, I'm just lazy and nothing comes to mind. In addition to that, I keep forgetting what I want to write even before I set out to write it. My memory is actually pretty bad. That's putting it nicely. Ok, I think enough liao. Tata.

Because I am a kepoh-chi

I know my blog visits are really minimal. But, I have to kepoh and link it. So go to the website and buy the dresses. And when you're there, read about Yvonne. I can only imagine what she had and is going through. I'm not gonna go into a lecture that we should be thankful, bla bla bla. That's old. I'll let you figure it out yourself. I believe that everyone has some sense. Though I do agree that common sense is really not that common at all most of the time.

Someone please stop me

I am going broke. Very broke.

Ever since coming back to Malaysia, I have been complaining that everything is so expensive. But, when it comes to clothes, I will then convert it to USD, and deem it cheap. Then buy. Muahaha. Though I think that has gone too far and I think I have been buying too much. Let's see,

1) 5 pairs of shoes (inclusive of 2 sandals, 1 heels and 2 peep toes)
2) Gym clothes (don't laugh) - 2 pairs of pants, 2 tops
3) Skirts - 2 (pairs?)
4) 1 dress
5) I don't know where to begin to count how many tops
6) 1 pair of jeans
7) Numerous accessories
8) 1 huge bag
9) Make-up (I bought so much from Ettusais that they gave me a red travelling bag)
10) 1 pair of pants

And all that is not inclusive of the

1) 1 wool coat
2) Stuff I bought while in London & Paris - admittedly not too much at all
3) 1 perfume set
4) 1 pair of boots
5) 1 top only

That's in the span of 3 months? Oh gosh. Someone stop me. Please.

I also have that vacation that I went for on top of the bills. But because those people at the resort forgot to charge me for 70% of the bill (though I tried to pay it off many times!), I sorta got a deal. Even while I'm typing out this post, I am already thinking of what else do I need to buy for myself. And my mum is calling me already cause we are going to pick up one of the skirts that I have recently bought. I am not a shopaholic. I am not. I hope not.

College

Was going through some old pics and decided to put them up here, for reminiscence sake. Don't tell me how different I look, cause I think I still look the same. The only thing that changes constantly is the hair and body weight. Yala I know, now I'm fatter. Dowan to listen. Hmh.






Sometimes I miss college. My schedule was so flexible back then. It was very flexible because I chose my subjects according to their time slots, which in turn caused me to have a plethora of weird subjects being transferred. But then, a lot of the subjects were fun and I ended up liking them a lot.

Sniff sniff..

Malaysia somehow, always catch on to the weirdest trends. And on top of that, we also have brilliant home grown ministers who comes up with new and ground-breaking ideas all the time. For instance, in the name of science and carrying out scientific experiments under microgravity, our astronauts will draw batik motifs and make teh tarik in orbit. This is so that when our students, tourists, or even ministers go overseas, they can smirk and tell foreigners (from countries who have been to the moon, preferable) that we have done extraordinary activites in space. Yay. Have you drank teh tarik in space lately? Hmhhhhh?
When we're not delving into out of this world matters, our prolific religious speakers voices their mind freely, albeit, a little too quick for their brain sometimes. We Malaysians are ver flexible too. While others only look to whats hot and new in the future, we take a step back and rebirth ideas from the past as well. Remember how chastity belts work in the olden days to prevent promiscous and unfaithful activities? In the new millenium, it has taken on a new role. It can now be worn to prevent rape! We were always thought that prevention is better than cure right? So to avert rapists, we wear protection. Smart eh? I wonder who is suppose to keep the key.

Serious beh tahan sometimes.

Annoyed, very

Something happened just awhile ago, and it made me think of the kind of people that annoy me. People who are spoilt, and expects everyone to spoil them too. Don't get me wrong, I am not jealous or pissed at spoilt people. I have plenty of spoilt friends (not in a bad way), and I think they are lucky. I have no problems with them at all. I start having a problem when they expect me to spoil them and give in to their every whim. I get incredibly annoyed when they say whatever they want, whenever they want, and worst of all, when they feel threatened, their best defense is to lash out at you. What gets me the most is, when people thinks that the world revolves around them and that they are the best. These people are extremely competitive and are also sore losers. They try to paint a beautiful picture of themselves, showing that they are nice, but more often than not, they do this at the expense of others. Pushing blame and lying. Oh yes lying, they are also the best liars I've known. Fools everyone. Until you get to know them better.

I know this kind of entry will get most people reading it to think "Is she talking about me?". If you want to know, ask me. I'll tell you. But I don't think the people I'm talking about reads my blog. And trust me, I'll be truthful and honest with you. I'm very annoyed just thinking about some of the things that have happened. And when I am annoyed, people can tell. I don't like to pretend to be nice to everyone when I, in fact don't like them. If I have a problem with you, most probably, you'll know it. But once this problem is solved, then all with be fine again. I prefer that over pretending to be nice and friendly, but hate the person and complain to everyone behind his/her back. I don't think I get pissed off easily (though some may disagree), and its not hard for me to let it go either, most of the time. Ok, after typing for so long, now I'm bored and no longer that annoyed. See, I get over it pretty fast.

One more week!

I can't wait for my beach vacation! I have been so deprived..but no more! Soon I will bask in the sun, and swim amongst the colorful fishes. I hope I get to spot some small (and hopefully harmless) sharks and turtles too! And to top it all off, the place has an infinity pool!!!! I love infinity pools! I've never swam in one, so this would be my first...and it better be awesome. As you can tell with the exclamation marks, I am excited. Yes I am. Wahahaha.... :p

Infinity pool, yes, they have.

The water is so clear!

Can you feel the serenity?

I am in love with the island even before I've ever been there. I hope its as beautiful as the pictures. No, I hope its even better. If they have a hammock, I may fall so deeply in love with the place that I never come back. Ok, maybe they need more than a hammock. An incredibly cute guy would help too.

I have an announcement.........

I can finally bend over and touch my toes!!!!

Ok la, I can hear the laughter and fat jokes already. But really, I don't think I could do that since I was 15 maybe. Then yesterday, I thought I'd try...and I could! This means a lot ok. It means, that yoga and pilates helps. Maybe next time I could do those headstands. Ok don't laugh. Shheeh.

This is worthy of an announcement cause my sister and even my mum could do it. Then my sister declared me to be super stiff. But no more!! I can touch my toes!! Maybe after a few more classes, I bend over entirely and have my nose touch my knees like the instructor! I said stop laughing!!

=p

Ta!

Because I'm in a good mood....

...I'll upload pics!!

I only noticed LG was closing her eyes in this pic after I've uploaded it. Sorry ha.

The boys.

Sunset, view from the Cahokia Mounts (this look like a typo, but too lazy to look it up)

Me and SC at the tea garden. Again. Told you. No sequence.

2006 Vacations continued

In summer, I was in Philadelphia for my summer internship. Then some friends dropped by at the end of it for a Philly, NY tour and also to enjoy my wonderful floor/carpet. We went around Philly almost entirely on foot. We walked almost 60 blocks! That was crazy, but lucky it was a cool summer. Anyways...some pics.

The famous LOVE sign. I don't know why it's famous though.

NY's evergreen symbol.

Ok so it wasn't some pics. It was 2 pics. Pictures takes too long to load. And blogger can be slow sometimes. So, nah.

Fatso

I think I'm having a mid-holiday crisis. Which is when I've come to realise that my holiday is about to end. And I have to slave off the rest of my life. Or hopefully a rich charming man would come sweep me off my feet and I don't have to do anything I don't want anymore. On top of that, everyone seems concerned that I would gain weight during my holiday. I say would, not has ok.

Concern friend (CF) 1 : Eh, don't eat so much. Later fat ar.
Me : That's my first bite ><><

C Family : When I saw you, I thought you lost weight.
Me : Really? :)
CFam : Yeah, then I realised it was your sister.
Me : (stupid), err...so..I didn't lose weight la?
CFam : Actually hor, I think you gained weight lor.
Me : Argh.

Me : I'm hungry. Can you get me some food?
CF 4 : Its after 10pm. You shouldn't eat.
Me : But I'm hungry :( *pathetic, sad look*
CF 4 : You don't need the food, look, you have extras *poke*, see..*poke*
Me :....Go away.

Takkan I don't eat Malaysian food right?? I've been craving it for months, no wait, for more than a year! But then I also refuse to look like a dumpling. How??? Oh, I am also very lazy. Pig mar. My year, gotta enjoy it.

I lost my template ><

I just realised that my blog was not using the new drag and drop template, so I upgraded to the newer version. But that caused the older template to go haywire, and in the end, I had to use a new one. I don'd like the fact that the new one is so.....white. Its the best I can do for now. Will fiddle with it more later. I liked my beachy template better. Sigh.

On pictures

You know, I was going to post most of the St. Louis pics up. But really la, it just takes too long. And won't that turn this into a photo blog? Then people will skip whatever I say and just go take the pictures. Dowan! Cannot liddat. Must read what I say ok. Darn it. Later la more pictures. I will spread it out so people will read. Gaaaah.

More pics

Here. St. Louis pics. Well more to come la. No, no. This is NOT a ploy to keep you coming back. This is because blogspot takes forever to upload pics. So I lazy. Well known fact right?

Too lazy to comment. The last picture quite nice hor?

Photos take forever to load

I just realised that I had promised a whole bunch of people that I would send them the pictures from the St. Louis trip but I had not, because I had no space in my comp at that time to upload them (yes, sad I know). So I put them up here. Haha, if they can find it, then good for them eh.

This is in London. Not St. Louis. Just for fun. Heh.

Japanese tea garden in some botanical garden in St. Louis.

The famous Arc. Or Arch. Correct me.

Back to the garden. If you've realised, there is no sequence.

That's us jumping. The arc is behind the photographer.

Happy Chinese New Year!!

It's my year!! Piggy piggy oink oink!!

I love CNY! I've missed the last 2 CNY's by being stuck in snow and under piles of books. No more of that, no more! I've been stuffing myself with loads of food, even before CNY which is awfully bad, but then, I've also been to the gym abit more lately, so not as guilty. And I went rock climbing today too, so I technically do more than just eat and sleep as most people accuse me of. I think I may have a slight fear of height. When I was going for the beginner rock climbing course, and we were bouldering (where the wall is lower, about 5 metres, and there are no ropes or harnesses, just a cushy mat beneath), and had to practice spotting (you stand under another climber and watch and perpare to catch if they fall), I had to jump down from the wall, which was pretty high. So there I was, about 3 meters up, and the co-instructor told me to jump and even with a fellow student below to catch me, I got a little scared. I looked at him and gave him a "are you kidding me?" look, and he was like jump! jump! Well, I didn't have much of a choice, so I took two steps down, and then jumped. It was pretty scary, heh. But if I'm doing top-ropes, I'm fine, no fear of heights at all. It just gets a little scary when I don't know where to go next or where to put my foot. Ok enough bout rock climbing, I digress too much.

So CNY. I miss gambling. A lot of my cousins are old and married now, leaving not many left to gamble or hang out with me. I miss playing black jack so much right now, but I'll settle for mahjong too. Though I've never been lucky in black jack and I'm not too good in mahjong (yet, I'll get there!), I still enjoy them very very much. Ok la, it seems like there is nothing much to talk about CNY anymore then.

Another thing is, I finally stopped procrastinating and have changed my flight tickets home. I'll be leaving KL on the 8th of April to go back to Chicago. But I'll probably have to stay a night in NY first. Hope K would be there and I can bunk in at her place. And then its off to Chicago to look for my apartment. Stupid me forgot to pack some spring clothes for when I go back, so now I onl have thick winter clothes (from London, Paris vacation) and also summer clothes. Nothing in between. Which means I should get a spring/autumn jacket from Malaysia, but there is nothing suitable. Nada. Argh. Someone who knows where to get nice ones please let me know. Highly appreciated.

Enough already. Gotta go eat. Ta!

i hate titles

There are so many things that I planned/wanted to do when I came back to Malaysia. But as most of you would know, I forget easily. And thus, when I am home with nothing to do, it doesn't once occur to me to look up for the list of things that I had wanted to do. So, to make it easier and to solidify things, I will put the list here, and if anyone is interested, we can do it together!

Wanted list:
1) To go for paintball sessions
2) Play futsal occasionally
3) Play netball, even once is enough
4) Go for a spa treatment (massage, treatment, manicures...the whole deal)
5) Go for a swim
6) Lay at the beach
7) Visit a place I haven't been to in Malaysia
8) Watch a play
9) Club hopping
10) Go for a wedding (someone please get married and invite me)

Things that I have done/tried and want more:
1) Rock climbing (its actually quite fun)
2) Yoga (this actually hurts...the next day)
3) Yum cha (the more the better)
4) Bowling (I suck, and I have yet to pass the 100 mark)
5) Shopping
6) CNY!!!

The lists seem a little shorter than I had expected. I will edit this when I have more. I actually have one more list, and that's the list of things that I HAVE to do..and thats the not fun stuff. Argh. Dowan to post that la.
Oh lately, I bought myself this really big bag, well, big for me that is, and I've been lugging it around everywhere. I termed it "aunty bag" when I was looking around for one, and thats what my mum and sister been calling it. Whenever I go out with them, everything gets chucked with me because of my big bag. Its actually really quite big. I don't have enough things to put in there and because of that, looking for my phone is a damn big chore everytime. I always panic and think that I have lost it, and make others call it, but only to find it in the bag...somewhere. But, the space should come in handy when I start working right? Right?

One Bangsar

This place is great! It looked like it used to be a row of houses that was converted to restaurants. The area has really nice landscape and the restaurants are all really nice. We tried Saffron which served Mediterranean food. I had their oxtail set and it was absolutely delicious! It was served with incredibly cheesy risotto and crunchy garlic bread. Their surf and turf set was equally as good, no scratch that, it was better. Just can't describe it. I think I need those taster classes that teach me to describe food taste. The decor in Saffron was pretty decent as well, and we dined in booths that had curtains at the entrance. Go see for yourself la.

Pictures worth thousands of words

Places I've been to in 2006
Part 1

Technically speaking, San Francisco was in 2005, but the vacation went from Dec '05 till Jan '06. So it counts. Cause I say so.

Santa Monica at night is lively and inviting. Any other time, its gorgeous. This is definitely a vacation spot. I wanna go back. Very much so.

And then there is Vegas. A place unlike any other. Just go and see it for yourself la.

Grand Canyon left me with mixed feelings. When we got out of the bus (never take the bus, fly), we oooh-ed and aaaah-ed. Then half and hour later, when you're still looking at the same hole, its just, that. Oh well.

Ok for real this time

I started this blog many years ago. And then some time after I started it, I got paranoid that people would actually start reading my blog and take every single word that I type seriously, so I deleted everything. Then I restarted, with the intention of writing a blog which logged my daily life, but without reference to anyone or anything else. But while trying to type out an entry, it turned out quite impossible to just revolve around me. So, I abandoned the blog and started writing stupid stuff again only when MSN Space came about few years ago. And even at that, it was a parody of the animal story that my then-future, now-previous roomate had written. It was funny while it lasted, and I wished that I had kept those stories. And when I got back from the trip to California/Vegas, I had this damn semangat angin to start blogging again, and I did blog but its just been saved in draft all this while. I figured, that since now I'm beginning to forget the trip, I might as well log as many memories as possible, so that I can remember them when I get older.