No, I don't.

I don't want to be the one that has to leave.

I don't want to be the one who spends endless sleepless nights thinking of how it is back home.

I don't want to be the one who dwells on what it would be like if only she had stayed.

I don't want to be the one who is all alone in a city where her best friends are at least a few hundred miles away.

I don't want to be the one who has to be independent all the time.

I don't want to be the one who you expect to act rationally.

I don't want to be the one who thinks with her brain and not her heart.

I don't want to be the one who is always in your thoughts, but rarely in your arms.

I don't want to be the one who would sacrifice her life for puny returns.

I don't want to be the one who you had to let go.

I don't want to be the one who had to let you go.

I don't want to do this anymore.

I want to stay.

X X X

Its going to be April real soon. Too soon. In fact, it will never be late enough. Its not the fact that I would have to go back to the real world and start working that is bothering me. Its the fact that I have to fly thousands of miles away to be able to that, comfortably. I always thought I'd be at least a little excited to be working and earning more money than I ever had in my life. But until now, all I feel is dread. I dread everything to come, knowing that its away from anything familiar. I don't want to have to go through time and again. Can anyone please come and tell with much hope and faith that they know for sure that things will get better? That it won't go downhill from here. That I will be as happy again. Please?